Riddle of the Day!

I came up with this one following a rather thick and heavy discussion with call 1800-swiftkick: we live to deliver - have YOU backed up your work today? (Yes, that's his nick on IM - ask HIM!)

I am finite yet infinite
I shift and change in length, depending on your attitude
I belong to every man and no man
Though all have me, all have not enough of me.

Your answers in the comments field please - and yes, I know the answer. :-)

Meme: Seven Things

This Seven Things meme came from enuwy. Apologies that it's long over-due.

Seven Things You Plan to do before you die:

1. Travel to Turkey, Cyprus, Corsica, Tuscany, Lebanon, Syria, Jerusalem, Brazil, Afghanistan (etc. etc.)
2. Learn to dive (the water kind)
3. Find someone to love and who loves me in that Elizabeth Barrett Browning way
4. Sing mellow jazz in a lounge (somewhere)
5. Re-Learn French or learn Japanese in order to have a decent conversation with a native speaker of either language (this is very much like enuwy, but I think we both have similar mutual friends who are native speakers of either language)
6. Live in Melbourne, Australia (again)
7. Re-learn to play the piano

Seven Things I can do:

1. Make tiramisu
2. Sing
3. Write poetry
4. Draw a circle and a square with my right and left hands simultaneously
5. Go up dizzying heights without feeling sick
6. Work in a hospice without feeling depressed
7. Swallow large pills/medication

Seven Things I say the Most:

1. Oh shit!
2. What?!
3. Right?
4. You know what, -
5. Yeah (... / ??? / !!!)
6. Honestly...
7. And then...?

Seven things I can't do:

1. Live alone
2. Cry (very much)
3. Travel at very high speeds (fast cars, go-karting, roller-coasters etc. etc.) without feeling sick
4. Analyse vectors in three-dimensions
5. Eat oysters without gagging
6. Walk down staircases and ladders without feeling nervous
7. Sleep in complete darkness

Seven Things that attract you to the opposite sex:

1. Quirky sense of humor (eg: David Duchovny, Jerry Seinfeld)
2. Intelligence
3. Soft & gentle hands
4. Ability to sing (well)
5. Is well travelled
6. Lean and well toned shoulders
7. Intense eyes

Seven Celebrity Crushes:

1. Jude Law
2. Ryan Philippe
3. Colin Firth
4. Stephen Dorff
5. Ethan Hawke
6. Takeshi Kaneshiro
7. Nicole Kidman (I vote, most beautiful woman in the world...)

Seven People I want to tag:

1. enuwy (although already tagged)
2. Drazick
3. Emen
4. Fe
5. Monsieur Guilbon
6. Kenneth
7. 80hertz

Corrinne May's If You Didn't Love Me

As you well know, I'm seldom impressed by the standard of music artistes in Singapore, but I must say that Corrinne May comes very very close to being globally good. I'm proud of the fact that she's from Singapore and from Berkeley - and has the kind of voice that warms my heart.

If you can find the album, "Fly Away" which is her first, do get it! This is my favourite song -

If You Didn't Love Me - Corrinne May

If every drop of water disappeared from the land
And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

What if I woke up and couldn't hear a sound
And all that I could see was darkness all around
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

If I could have the world and all that money could buy
And I could travel far beyond the moon and the sky
If they gave me golden wings, well I still couldn't fly
Without you, nothing would matter

You and I walk beside each other day after day
But there's so much inside me, I never get to say
My life would be so empty with nothing left to feel
If you didn't love me
If you didn't love me...


Thought of the Day: Everybody deserves to find Love. A kind of Love that can sustain them throughout their lives. Find everyday someone or something that makes you thankful for being alive, and you would have learnt to live and love. I have realised that being able to say to someone, "I love you with a faith that make Men strive for Right" and living that passion and joy throughout my life is something that I cannot compromise on.

I have decided that if I cannot do that, if I cannot find that special someone or something, then it would be preferable for me to stay alone for the rest of my life than to risk boredom and mundanity with someone that I can live with, but do not love.

Circle of Cancer

I know more than a few people who would kill me for saying this, but there are lies, and then there are lies.

I was reading a comment that was coming in the other day on my interesting little "Love Will Come to You" post -

imperfect, tragic hero/lovers, fallen so deeply in love with the idea of love, that no human-tainted love can ever be love enough.love, so pure, that anything beyond the most chaste of touches would break its fragile bindings.a pity, that we all live in our own little 'field of knives'.

And wanted to let you know that I thought about you. Somewhere in the middle of the day, you came into my mind, and I wondered where you might be, and what you may be doing. In some way I know this sounds like you.

She let me read some of the Other's emails to her the other day - and the Other sounds so strangely like you, that I mentioned so.

I still remember our promise of Amsterdam, sorely broken. And in that creeping mind of mine, was wondering why I envied her maintaining contact with the Other, whereas I'd just let a chance of mine to truly live slip by. Mij engel, if you are there, can you please leave me a note again, just so that I might know that you still live, and that I have some contact with you still?

I can't believe he's Cancerian!!!

We learn one surprising thing every day. This cracks me up in a way that only Google can do.

#1: Go to www.google.com
#2: Search for "Failure"
#3: Click: I'm Feeling Lucky

A colleague here says, "Hurry before Google fixes it" but somehow I don't think it's a bug. I believe it's a feature.

Discovery at under $14.95!

Singapore wine-lovers take note: The Australian Queen Adelaide 2004 Merlot is an absolute bargain at under $14.95 at any Cold Storage or major supermarket.

It's a gummy, grapey, full of juicy berry merlot. The tender age of the wine makes it an absolute guzzler since it's light and doesn't go down too hard, while being good for parties and the wallet at the same time.

Makes one reminiscent, on an artificially cold (air-conditioned) winter's day, of cheap European import wines.

Love Will Come to You

For a very long time now, since the early months of 1998 (I think that's a long time - 7 years, that...) I've been looking for someone who would fit this song. I think I finally found the person. This one's for nunejr - although she will probably not know why, and when, and how... until perhaps another 7 years later.

It is so apt on so many levels. Partly because now her memories (hers, not mine - too private to share) will surface like many colored dreams in a life that I do not have. And also because this life of mine ultimately wants to thank her for showing me a life, a mind, and a heart that I know I will not otherwise be able to see and experience. Thank one person every day for their existence - because you know everyone else will be blessing their existence for yours.

Indigo Girls - Love Will Come to You

Guess I wasn't the best one to ask
Me myself, with my face pressed up against Love's glass
To see the shiny toy I've been hoping for, the one I never can afford

The wide world spins and spits turmoil
And the nations toil for peace
But the paws of fear upon your chest - only Love can soothe that beast
And my words are paper tigers,
No match for the predator of pain inside her

And I say Love will come to you
Hoping just because I spoke the words that they're true
As if I offered up a crystal ball to look through
Where there's now one, there will be two

I was born under the sign of Cancer
Like brushing cloth, I smooth the wrinkles for an answer
I close my eyes and wish you fine (I'm always closing my eyes, and wishing I'm fine)
Even though I know you're not this time (Even though I'm not this time)

And I say Love will come to you
Hoping just because I spoke the words that they're true
As if I offered up a crystal ball to look through
Where there's now one, there will be two

Dodging your memories, a field of knives
Always on the outside looking in on other's lives

I say Love will come to you
Hoping just because I spoke the words that they're true
As if I offered up a crystal ball to look through
Where there's now one, there will be two

And I wish her insight to battle Love's blindness
Strength from the milk of human kindness
A safe place for all the pieces that shattered
Learn to pretend there's more than Love that matters


It's probably so strange but I know now, in some secret place inside my heart, that this is her song. I just can't figure out who is singing it. Is it me? Or is it the person who lives inside her memories? Somehow, I feel a strange but palpable connection with the Other, there is a bond, there is a sense of deep kindness, and I cannot bring myself to feel either jealous or hatred for the Other. The feeling I feel is the sense of deep love, a kind of love that spans out in the greatness of one's heart for all humanity, the love of the fellow stranger who has once walked down this very same path that I am taking now, whose footsteps has graced the road I now tread. Tread softly, she says, for you tread upon my dreams.

The funny thing is that in some ways, this is a goodbye song. And it has always been. I cannot imagine that perhaps, unknown in ways that nobody can ever understand, it was an act of Love that made her leave, as much as it is was an act of Self. Was she ever great hearted and caring in some aspects? Did she ever hold anyone so dear to her heart that she had ever cut? Would she ever know the image on another's body that she now makes?

I am fascinated by the Other. Almost as though she were a sister (in crime, in passion, in faith) but more than that. I am fascinated how one can come to appreciate so much love, to say the things that I almost said, to love the same person that I now love. I am fascinated so much that I would not take her picture off the wall, because I want to always be constantly reminded that I am living the life she could have almost lived.

I keep thinking one day she will look back and say the same of me.

This conduit, this person, that bonds two total strangers who would not barely meet. Who is she?

I'll have to explain this some other time

But you know the truth is,

I am a Queen of Spades
I am a trapped animal running around in a cage
Despite all my rage
I am the escape artist looking for a con
Allergic to affection
Immune to emotion

Non Sequitur #1: The honey is diabetic, love.
Non Sequitur #2: You know there are pieces of me you will never pick up.
Non Sequitur #3: If I cut and run, would you fall off the end of my tether?

(Remind me to explain this before you freak out.)