As Spring Draws Near

Spring is coming, I can feel it in the air. There is a certain pulse, a liveliness almost like anticipation that is vibrating the air around me. It's started to get brighter earlier in the morning now, there is light in my window around 7am, and it gets dark later, 5pm instead of 4pm.

Nearly almost this time, 7 years ago, it was the season of life in many ways. I know this time of the year is always the time when emotions run high, my sense of dependence upon loved ones increases to the point of clinginess. This is the time of the year when I most need to be cuddled. (Yes, strange though it may sound - there are seasons for cuddling, a time for everything.)

Yet now, anticipation is the word of the day, but I am not entirely sure what I am waiting for. There is just a sweeping emotion, a general feeling of anticipation in my heart that is bursting out, and time seems to tick by very quickly with nothing much going on.

It feels very busy, almost as if I should be busy but I am not, and that I am running around in circles, supposed to be doing something but I'm not sure what.

I wonder if this is stress from anticipating a busy budgeting season ahead. We just had our first target setting session early this week. But if it is, I'm 2 months premature. If it's about your application, then I've already told myself to be patient and not hope too much. After all, there's really nothing to be done about it except to smile, try one's best and pray pray pray. I've tried not to guess or hazard any feel for the temperature of the application.

It's getting warmer, a welcome change. The average temperatures these days is around 12 degrees celcius, and I can't wait for it to get to perfect warmth right before the heat of summer sets in. Maybe it would be something more like home then.

I've thought very long and hard this time about what I miss from home. Or rather, what would make things feel more like home here for me. There isn't much really, we did some touristy things like the Botanics which was really good fun, but I nearly got lost on the MRT and didn't mention it. Out of a sudden I didn't know how to find Bugis MRT station.

But I launched myself into the weather here and realised the sudden truth that I am living and breathing for the air here. I bless the fresh air, the greenery, the temperature, the smell of my house which was warm, clean, welcoming. My nose cleared up nearly instantly, and I felt the cool air wash over me and bring down the rate at which I was slowly oxidizing. Stodgy starches started disappearing, my weight fell back to model levels. Everything should be perfect. The only thing missing is you.